All of his incoming mail arrived in self-addressed envelopes which contained letters from his many alter-egos, none of whom he was aware existed. Most of the letters included invitations to dinner, provided updates on the status of his pickup’s tire pressure, or announced news items such as the introduction of guacamole as a new flavor at Tim & Doug’s Soft-Serve Stand.
He always marveled at the valuable timeliness and
specificity of the information he received, and felt profound and genuine
regret that he lacked the wherewithal to respond in any similar fashion.
After his most recent relocation, he simply vanished.